have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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