Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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