oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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