My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
