im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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