just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize