you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
