everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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