People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Randomize
