You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
