guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
