i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
