All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
