Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
