watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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