i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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