You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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