I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
