She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
