I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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