did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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