Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
