oh god the rape fog is back!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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