wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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