wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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