grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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