I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
