i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
