he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
