When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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