gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize