if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
