What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
