Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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