well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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