Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
