yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
