I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
