Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
