The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize