When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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