I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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