Screwed.edu
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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