Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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