i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
