Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
