PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
