haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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