what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
