Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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