So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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