I haven't been this sober since birth.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
