broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
