In the future we'll all be gay
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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