just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
