week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize