I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
