please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
