My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
home. puking in laundry basket.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
