those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
